TLC: Talk, Listen, Change is a relationships charity that was originally founded in 1981 to provide relationship support. After 35 years of delivering services, they disaffiliated from a national organisation in April 2017 and currently provide an extensive range of services across each of the 10 GM boroughs.
CEO Michelle Hill says, “Our mission is to help build safe, healthy, happy relationships”.
From providing counselling to those affected by cancer, to domestic abuse prevention, family mediation, community work and even counselling to those affected by the Manchester Arena Bomb in 2017, Talk Listen Change offers a unique approach in supporting local communities.
One of today’s regular Thursday activities is one of three weekly Bridging to Change men’s perpetrator programme sessions. The programme runs for 30 sessions with men who have perpetrated domestic violence against their female partners. From 1-3pm this afternoon, men who use violence in their relationships will attend a group session and discuss communication styles, any new positive strategies they’ve used in the last week, and will discuss how they can make improvements in the future. Senior Facilitator, Donna, says, “being able to do two hours of self reflection a week is the way forward for anyone, not just the men who attend our groups”.
The co-gendered structure of the group is shaped to show the men in the group what a respectful, healthy interaction between men and women looks like, and helps to break down misogynistic stereotypes.
“Research shows this is where men make the most change, because they’re being challenged by their peer group. All the learning and the change that they go through is passed on to new members. If men are going to change it’s usually around week 20 when something lands with them, and they can see defences and excuses and rationale they have for their behaviour. The dynamic of being around the new group members encourages new thinking. The real learning comes from men challenging other men. It’s powerful for the young men in particular. There’s something there about being around men who are acknowledging their mistakes and showing their vulnerabilities.”
Donna also works with women who use violence in relationships, and currently works with women in same-sex relationships to provide support on domestic violence to the LGBT community.
Support to women whose partners attend the Bridging to Change programme is offered on a one-to-one basis. Integrated Partner Support Worker, Emma, takes a needs-led approach to empower women to realise that their partner’s behaviour is unacceptable. She takes a non-judgmental attitude and supports women experiencing psychological, financial, emotional and sexual abuse. These one-to-one sessions, held daily at their main office, unpicks negative stereotypes and promotes the idea that women are not to blame or at fault for being abused. The national retention for survivors remaining in services is 5%. For those who access TLC’s service, the retention rate is 65%, thanks to the great work of people like Emma.
On a day to day basis, Talk Listen Change offers support for people in the community to enhance their relationships. However, the impact of their approach doesn’t end there. Strong relationships are built between practitioners and service users and remain after the duration of their partner accessing perpetrator support. One service user says, “Our lives are so much better than I thought they could be, thanks to your guidance. I will always be grateful”.
All of the work of TLC’s domestic violence services is designed to promote the safety of survivors, victims and children.
www.talklistenchange.org.uk
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